We’re All Fucked!
Before we get started — I need to state for the record that I’m a happy person. Life is good — job is good, I follow my passions and my downtime is generally exceptional. I don’t have drug depenencies — of any kind, don’t even take asprin or other painkillers.
Life hasn’t always been perfect and, there are events so bizarre in this man’s life that a book could be written and probably be well received. People like fiction or, stuff that reads like fiction — right?
OK, I got all that shit out of the way. Nothing changes the fact that I always have and always will have a fire burning and, at regular intervals want to fight a good fight. The idealist swimming upstream in a river of shit and, only one paddle. So, I get a little shitty shit on my hands from time to time. And, that’s not a bad thing.
So what got me so worked up to put keyboard to screen? (ya, I know that’s really clever)
Drink Urine! It showed up as a featured video on Youtube this evening and extolled the virtues of drinking piss. Yup. Now, it’s not to say that I haven’t heard the idea that drinking your own urine could be good for you as there is a level of electorlytes and certain other benefits in the purity of that which we excrete from our bodies — it’s just that you’re not going to get me drinking my own pee anytime soon…It’s up there with dog’s eating poo because they’re missing something in their diets. I figure the best road to travel is one where I’m eating and drinking all the right stuff so I don’t have to dip in to the old reservoir to get what’s ailing. Know what I mean?
But this blog isn’t about piss…wait a minute, can I lead a sentence of a paragraph with “but?” Ahhh, fuck it. My blog — my rules.
This is about the current state of affairs in the world. We are heading into what will certainly be one of the more significant recessions in history. It could be on the level of 2008/2009 or, it could be up there with Black Monday — the dirty thirties and all of us standing in bread lines hoping the government continues to feed us in our time of need. We don’t have a time machine to go forward and take a peek so at this point in time — it’s speculation. Notice my carefully, or not so, placing of the word “time?”
Still with me? Roughly 58.3 % of all people that click on my blog read it all the way through. So if you’re in that 41.7 percentile; you smell like rotten fish.
Everyone else — thanks for being here. And let’s get this show on the road!
I’m from Alberta, Canada. For those of you not from here, we’re a province in the Western hemisphere that is known for cowboys, oil and hockey. Not necessarily in that order. Oil rules our economy and, if you’re not directly involved in the industry, at some point down the line, you owe your living to the biz of big oil. We don’t have much else. Tourism is good, yes. We have the Stampede in Calgary and Klondike Days (I think they recently change this name to something really stupid) in Edmonton. Almost everyone in the world knows the name Wayne Grestky and Alberta’s claim between two teams — a staggering 6 Stanley Cups. Ok, so we only won one here in Calgary but, it was pretty epic and a few people around the world might remember…
Seriously though, if you’re not from Canada and you’re reading this, you probably know that we have the unique distinction of being one of the worst, in regards to environmental responsibility, records in the world. Yes, the world. A recent article I read has Canada (based heavily on Alberta oil) as one of the 9 worst countries on the planet. Sad, but true.
The golden rule as an Albertan though — is we don’t talk about oil unless it’s to extol the heavenly virtues of the black gold that has us as one of the most prosperous, highest per capita, living like fucking rock stars — in the world motherfuckers. That’s right — we’re rich! Well, some of us. Most of us? The median wealth of the Average Albertan — based on the value of home and assets is somewhere north of 850,000 dollars. Yup, I just read that today.
It doesn’t matter that we also spend roughly 150 dollars for every 100 we make. That’s just a minor detail.
What’s interesting in our world? I’m glad you asked. You asked, right?
Oil is tanking quicker than the Titantic started sinking on a fateful night back in the early part of last century. Before this massacre is over (I blame Saudi Arabia) not that I’m calling anyone out here….before this massacre is over, the predictions are that we could see oil hit 15 dollars a barrel. If you don’t understand the business of oil in Alberta — this crude is trapped in dirt. The process for extracting it is quite complicated and requires massive machinery to dig that dirt up, transport it to a refinery that then inject really hot steam into that dirt which removes the oil, which then has to go onto further refinery to convert it into gasoline, oil (as in lubricating force for machinery) plastics and any other number of items that crude is required for — like that bottle of fucking water you’re drinking right now.
It shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the production of oil cost approximately 23 dollars a barrel here in Alberta’s oil sands versus those countries that merely drill down to the required depth and turn the tap on. The analogy would probably look like this: You fill a half liter glass of water from your tap and the cost is? I don’t know that .00032 cents is really a currency. That 500ml bottle you want to buy at the gas station — $2.50. A bargain, really, it did take a little more effort to produce. But, you’re out of a job and out of money and you really need a fucking drink… Ya, bam! Look at the light bulb go off!
OK, hopefully I don’t lose you here as I’m trying to keep this moving and not fall asleep on myself — the media in Alberta want you to believe that a government that has only been in office for 4 months has caused this shit storm because they want to have a conversation about — a fair trade of resources vs monetary compensation. Ya, it’s really that simple. The land and the oil in that land belongs to us, those people that call Alberta home and, we should be entitled to at least a fair share of the profits. But no, a conversation is akin to pulling a knife on the family cat and threatening to cut it ear to ear. “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!”
It’s all just a distraction. The big companies all knew this collapse was inevitable and as such, had contingency plans in place. They aren’t going anywhere — I’m talking about the Shells, Esso, BPs and the captains of industry that will be here long after we’ve left the planet. They’ll leverage what they have and settle in and take it all back on the upswing.
Meanwhile, we’ll continue to support Saudi Arabia and those princes who live the lives that only Robin Leach can adequately describe. These people who have beheaded more human beings than ISIS can ever hope to in a lifetime. These people that our government supports and sends money to and who we admire for their industrious nature and innovation in having endless wealth to build monstrosities in a place that should not be inhabitable. And we should idolize these monsters…while they sink our very livelihood. Think of them like the kid that has an ant farm and shakes that fucking farm at will just to watch the insuing chaos.
To keep us entertained, while all this shit is going on, we’ll get caught up in the Trump affair as a buffoon gets ready to enthrall a nation of buffoons. Potentially, the citizens of the United States could usher in one of the most dangerous and mind numbing Presidents in the history of the United States. A president that wants war, wants to set back race relations a hundred years and who was so eloquently portrayed as Biff Tanner in Robert Zemeckis’s strangely Nostradamus like movie. A man who is more like a circus freak show than one who should command what is known as the military might of the whole freaking world.
On our soil — we’ll watch as our Prime Minister continues to thumb nose at citizens of this country, which should usher in a new ruling party that I can only imagine will be the patsy for the next 4 years while the Conservatives wait patiently by to grab the reigns once this shit storm has passed, drawing on the painfully short attention spans of the rich and stupid whose lives are ruled by how they measure up to the Jones and nothing more.
Oh, did you know that the Kardashians are going on a world tour? No? Well fuck you — I just made that up.
