My Apology
I’m sorry.
I’m also Canadian so saying sorry is as commonplace as thanks, you’re welcome and eh. Yet, I lead this latest blog, apologizing before I even leave the gates. Why you ask…
The year is 2017. It was only 10 years ago that Facebook became the imminent platform for people on this Earth to communicate by sharing ideas, debating, learning and yes — even by entertaining. In that 10 years, not much has changed. Yes, we have some other platforms that allow us to connect on a much more basic level with Instagram/Snapchat becoming the unsung heroes for people that want to get a quick message out proclaiming the proclivity of their most amazing lives. Twitter — well, we’re not quite sure its purpose these days other than giving celebrities a chance to speak to the little guy directly.
The little guy. That’s you and me. If you don’t have the blue check mark, you haven’t made it yet. You’re a loser. Your friends aren’t going to pay you much nevermind because you haven’t earned the right to be acknowledged. Celebrity and the blue check mark is everything and everyone wants it…well, at least we think it’s the answer.
If you stumbled onto my blog and don’t know much about me, I’m somewhat of a self-proclaimed social media warrior. I had grand ideas in the onset about what social media and connecting via the web could mean for the world. I was an idealist. There was a buzzing in my ears, a voice if you will stating that this was the revolution. We would be able to change so much. Government, environment, health care, mental health and the list goes on.
I really believed.
As the years went on, it became clear that the opposite effect was taking place. People weren’t branching out, exploring all the possibilities. They were starting to internalize. It was a slow progression at first. Like dipping your toe in a cool pond, testing the audience — your friends, family, strangers and anyone that may cross that social circle and 6 degrees.
When you have an open medium to share ideas…
What’s amazing to me is how everyone has a way to plug in these days. It’s being challenged as a human right, to be connected to the internet. The importance of making sure everyone has access is now on par with necessities like food, and water.
And the more plugged in, the less tuned in we are becoming. That’s the problem with bias and an infinite source of connectivity. A person can have all the information they could ever need at their fingertips but at the end of the day, personal bias will instruct them on how to think, what to watch, what to eat, drink, enjoy…even what to hate.
Is it fair to say the digital age is churning out a nation of zombies? I would say there’s a big disconnect. Reality versus implied reality. Zombies may be too strong a word but it creates the proper narrative for my point.
We’re losing the ability to communicate. It’s taken for granted and we are slowly (or maybe not so) drifting further apart. There’s an abyss. The illusion is that we’re constantly connected to those that matter because we have those little phones. And we may use them to send the occasional text, snap chat, what’s ap or any of the other platforms that give us instant connectivity.
I’m guilty. I tend to take it all for granted. This is difficult not to do because the illusion is so strong. But, like all good illusions, if you pay attention long enough, it will cease to be an illusion.
The love/hate relationship I now have with social media is growing more to the hate side every day. There is a real, genuine desire to connect ideas and have meaningful debate. Using Facebook as an example — I can post original content almost daily (like these blogs) and get very little engagement. Trust me, this is not a “woh is me” moment…the blogging is therapy and I’m happy to have 1 or 2 people share in that. On the same note, I can post a funny meme or say something stupid and irrelevant and see my notification button light up.
I’m no different. I’ll scroll through the days musings by those in my network and give the thumbs up to witty or interesting memes, video recipes or special interest stuff but, I will now avoid any contentious issues dealing with politics, medicine, Nasa, conspiracy, fluoride, vaccines…and a host of other topics that make people lose their virtual minds. It’s simply not worth it.
On a professional level (I’m a DJ if you didn’t know) I now reach out to the strangers and cast a wide net knowing that promoting myself to those closest is a waste of time. Whether its metrics or a simple lack of interest — I can’t get people to even like an event, a music mix or general stuff relating to my career. Yet, I’ll see their feeds light up with promotions and articles relating to big celebrities that they somehow feel more connected to.
Again, not a “woh is me” moment. Just an observation. And I’m no better. I will take time to like original content from friends and others in my network but a lot of times, my support stops there. It’s time, lack of interest and even selfishness on my part. Consciously I don’t want to see anyone fail but for some, I’m also not invested in their success either.
It’s a sobering moment. When you realize that you haven’t invested enough time in your friends for them to invest in you. That’s the problem. We think we’re invested. But we’ve gotten lazy, complacent.
Someone close to me shut down their Facebook. They simply got tired of it. They wanted more organic connections so they pulled the plug. Their friend network became instantly smaller and, was a wake up call. Both to them and myself. We can assume everyone is watching on a platform like Facebook but we’re all taking this for granted. Even if you’re connected, you’re missing a substantial amount of information and data.
I know from personal experience. I’ll sit down at the computer and think — “wow, I haven’ heard from _______ in a long time. I wonder what they’re up to these days”
So I”ll go to their page and see countless posts — sad posts, relevant posts that simply never showed up in my feed. They may have thought me uncaring that I missed their birthday, the death of a pet, of someone close…or serious health issues. The problem is that I’m sitting here waiting for Facebook to let me know what’s going on. It never dawns on me to pick up the phone and call, or even send a quick text. I’m on auto pilot.
The world has become a much lonelier place. Where we thought we were more connected, we’re less. We’re allowed to see the best moments in other’s lives, snippets of a 24 hour day where they were able to muster up a smile and a head tilt, proclaiming the awesomeness of their existence. Yet, we’re not privy the tears, the isolation and the desperation of someone who has dark thoughts about ending it all rather than existing in the vacuum that is now our reality.
I’ve started to practice what I’m preaching. I’m going out more, into social settings (even forcing myself at times, dealing with my introverted nature) and I’m seeing friends in real settings with real conversation. Granted, we’re not going to light the world on fire as our conservative natures lend to us keeping conversation light and relevant to the surroundings. But I can tell you, it feels much better than posting a picture of a moment when you actually felt good about yourself.
As for connectivity via social media via my friends — I’ve opted to go another direction. There are plenty of now private channels where you can find like minded people to share your ideas with. You no longer have to put them out in the public realm so that those you thought were close can take savage measures to shut you down. If there’s something you would like to discuss that is outside of “normal societal parameters” just type it into the search window (you’ll generally have to ask to join but it’s worth it) and yes, the company of strangers.
I also recommend to my friends that are DJs (like me) or that have small businesses that you would like to promote — ignore your friends. It’s wasted energy. If they aren’t asking questions out of the gate, chances are they’ll never ask. So promote your brand to like minded people. There are tons of networks out there, small business owners who all want to be part of the equation. Believe it or not, these are the people that will help promote your brand as you help them. Success in social media comes down to numbers. Is your product relevant, is it something others want, is it something you’re passionate about? If you answered yes to all of those — the rest is just a numbers game. Drawing people to your social media account comes from casting a wide net and genuinely connecting with the strangers. What’s really neat about this approach is if you build a big enough audience, you’ll eventually draw your friends in as well.
Everyone loves a winner.
I feel like I went off topic there, doing my social media 101 but it’s all relevant. If you want to connect with your friends — pick up the phone. Friends don’t sell to friends so keep it on point and ask lots of questions.
If you’ve read all of this — thanks. If the like button is close by, I wouldn’t be opposed to you hitting like. :)
