Are You Ready To Die?
Admit it — your immediate response to this title is one of angst and just a smidgen of shock to what is, in my humble estimation a rather honest and reasonable question.
Are you prepared? Do you think about it? Is it something you think about a lot, or perhaps never at all? Do you have a game plan for death? A perfect way to go out? Maybe you don’t want to know…ignorance being bliss and all that.
No matter what your take on death, the one thing assured is that you, me and everyone else on this plane is rounding up to finality. In 100 years from this moment, the over 7 billion people inhabiting the Earth will be dead. Give or take the few that manage to crack the century mark…
It’s rather daunting to imagine 7 billion people in the ground. Sure, there will be another 7 billion or so to replace us all (barring some apocalyptic end to humanity) but the gist of it is that we’re all gonna die.
I don’t want to be ambiguous when it comes to the topic of death. The world isn’t fair and some of us have to go sooner than others and, some of us have to go in far less ideal ways than others. When you think of the end — what’s your go to? What is your perfect way to exit, stage left?
You may be surprised to know that I think about this lots. No, probably not unique in this way but in my mind, it seems a subject that I have become intimate with since passing the half century mark. It probably helps that I’ve had more “near” death experiences than most and each one helped me come to terms with finality.
Personally, I want to die well. That’s how it plays out in my head. No matter the way, just that I check out in a dignified manner. No fear, no regret, no anger — just quiet and peaceful acceptance. That’s how I imagine it should be. Is that reality? I can’t say. Sometimes I wonder if there’s been enough preparation…
Last week I watched a TED Talks with a first responder. He went into detail of his job and how he evolved in dealing with death and the demise of people that faced him in their final moments. Early in his career, he chose to lie and comfort those people that couldn’t be saved — believing this would make their journey easier. What he found out one evening, as he looked down at this person who asked that poignant question: “am I going to die?” and realizing that nothing was going to save them — he chose honesty. “No sir, you are dying and there is nothing I can do to save you.”
The response from the dying man surprised him. There was acceptance, and peace came over this persons face as they quietly slipped away. He was expecting panic, anger and fear…but those emotions didn’t come.
Death isn’t bad. It’s my belief, based on my experiences and the most important experience — living. I’ve concluded death is one of the most dignified things we can do in our time here. While we don’t know what is on the other side of death, it seems counter intuitive that we should fear it.
I’m not suggesting we embrace it. Almost all people that are dying, with time to process, have regrets about things they didn’t do, didn’t accomplish. There may be a few out there that did everything they wanted to do… it’s unlikely. We have a finite amount of time inside the boundaries of a mind that processes infinite possibilities.
What I am suggesting is that we let go of the fear. If you really strip us down to the core; our existence is based on fear. No, not for everyone but for many of us- and we don’t go after things because of fear. It’s that nagging voice inside forecasting all of the possibilities that will result in failure. And, I think that many perceive death as failure which ultimately stop us from reaching our goals and aspirations.
You are going to die. So what. The question then has to be asked: What are you really afraid of? Being afraid of something you can’t stop or control is so much wasted energy. Being afraid of what you can control? Your decisions, your ability to make a choice? That’s just crazy.
Nobody is going to know that you fell down, a hundred years from now. Your grave will be a reminder that you once inhabited this place but nobody will care. A few generations of offspring may remember you fondly but it will be fleeting and grow less important with each generation after.
So, the question I put to you and through the cathodic process of writing, the question I put to myself: What am I doing here? Am I living? Or am I just surviving to live?
My words of inspiration to you, this 26th day of April, 2017:
Take chances. Say what’s on your mind. Apologize less. Offend more. Smile. Be generous. Be gracious. Laugh. Cry. Scream. Do things that make you uncomfortable. Be selfish. There is no right and wrong — just experience. You’re going to fuck up. That will never change. No matter how old and how careful you try to be — you’ll do shit that someone will hate. Let them hate you. That’s their burden, not yours.
Death is the final chapter in your glorious novel. Get writing!
